Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
