i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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