Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
