GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Randomize
