it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize