i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
i believe in u and ur pee
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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