i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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