just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
