Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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