Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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