the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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