I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
