My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
