well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Ladies don't puke and tell
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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