WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
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