Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
whose parrot is this?
I'm sobbing to NWA
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
