69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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