It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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