I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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