Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
