ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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