I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
