You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
