Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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