Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
