May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
if only i could text you this smell
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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