also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
