make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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