Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
