Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
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