For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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