i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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