I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Its about making memories worth repressing
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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