did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
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