no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I'm going to jail i love you
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize