You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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