maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
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