And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
