I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
