Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Randomize
