If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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