So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
