apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
