so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
