...so i touched it.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
worst night to have a conscience
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
i think my cat just said my name.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Randomize
