She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I love you. Go after that dick
Randomize
