Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Randomize
