Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Randomize
