i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
