GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I just blew my weed a kiss
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
