You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
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