If i come over, it means nothing
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Randomize
